My Golden African Birthday

So.. today I turned 22 on the 22nd. In other words what the Chinese refer to as my golden birthday. I must admit that as I woke up this morning I dreaded the day. I have missed my family tremendously and the though of being away from them and not being able to speak to them on this day was unbearable. Praise the Lord, for God is good and faithful much beyond my deserving. The missionaries here had a birthday party for me tonight in which my African family whom I lived with and other missionaries here attended. It was a lot of fun with lots of kids running around and screaming. The Bledsoes' gift to me was a book they compiled of birthday wishes from my friends and family. I don't know how they got people to send me birthday wishes but they did and it was such a wonderful surprise!!! For all of you who took the time to send them a message... THANK YOU!! I cannot tell you how much it meant to me to read your kind, kind words. Another wonderful surprise was that I was able to speak to my parents today. They also have been out of the country so there has been no correspondence between us at all for the last two and half weeks. It was so good just to hear their voices. God is good!
Two years ago I also spent my birthday in Africa. It was the summer I was in Tanzania. It is funny to think of how much my life has changed in two short/long years. I have learned so much.. God has shown me so much. Tommorrow I will be leaving for Abidjan and will fly out of there on Thursday for home. So tonight is my last African post. I wish I could tell you all the things I have seen, felt, experienced, thought, processed.. in the last few weeks. But I can't. I still am not quite sure how this experience fits into my life and what I will take away from it. One thing I do know. No matter where I go, or the circumstances I am in or the people I meet, God is the same. He does not change. He is faithful, he is good, he is sovereign. Praise the Lord that those truths never change. May he continue to reveal himself to me in my next 22 years. I want you all to know how much I appreciate first of all that you have taken the time to read my blog. Secondly, for all your prayers and support. I feel so incredibly blessed today because all of you are in my life. The Lord has truly blessed me with an incredible family and a wonderful community of friends and supporters. I can't wait to see you all, some sooner than later, and to share stories and pics.
I love you all..
Good night from West Africa.. see you back in Tennessee..

Random Thoughts

Hello to everyone! I am sorry that I have not written in a while. Last Saturday until this past Wednesday I was living with an Ivorian family. I was with the family of one of the clinic workers here. Her name is Natalia. Her and her husband have three children as well as her sister that live with them. Living with them was a very good experience although it was a lot more challenging then I expected. I did not expect to miss my own family so much by staying with them but I did. I felt really out of my comfort zone, which I am sure it exactly where the Lord wanted me to be. I was hot and sweaty most of every day because they had no fans and we had to walk everywhere we went. Even though there way of life is hard and I wasn't very good at it, I really had a wonderful time with them. They were so gracious and so kind. They really are a wonderful Christian family and I feel so blessed to have had the privilege to be a part of their lives for a few days. I had the morning off today so I did not go into the clinic like I have the rest of the week. I did some much needed laundry and just sort of relaxed. This afternoon I had a tropical medicine lecture and then spent some time talking with a wonderful missionary family here. Tomorrow morning I am in the clinic again. It will be my next to last time there. Monday will be my last day at the clinic. Tuesday will be a free day and Wednesday we leave for Abidjan and I fly out of there on Thursday. It is hard to believe that three weeks have almost come and gone. Unfortunately I feel that I am right in the middle of processing my time here. I don't really know what to say of my time here thus far. I am sure eventually I will come to a conclusion about it. I know there have been some lessons learned, some hard things witnessed and some good times, but I don't know where everything fits just yet. Once again I know I will have to be silent and wait on the Lord. I am confident that he will reveal what needs revealing in his time. As for now... I am missing my family... I will be leaving in a few days with lots to think about and knowing only one thing for sure... Africa has left her dusty footprint on my heart. The purpose.. I guess I will have to wait and find out.
I love and miss you all. I am not able to use the internet that much in the next few days, so I will try to get one more post before I get home..
can't wait to see you all!!!

Living with Ivorians...

Hello everyone!!
Just wanted to let you all know that until Wed. I will be living with an Ivorian family. The wife of this family is one of the nurses in the clinic so after the weekend that is still where I will be spending my days. It should be interesting to live life with them for the next few days. I will let you all know about my time there once I return.
Love and miss you all!!

Reedeming Love

So... It is funny to me to read my last blog which was only written a couple of days ago and to realize how quickly my outlook has changed. In my last blog I spoke about myself and how being here made me feel. Looking back I realize how shallow it seemed. I was being true to how I was feeling but the shallowness of it now seems sort of ironic due to the circumstances of the last two days. Yesterday I had the opportunity to go to the prison in town with Dr. Bledsoe. A few weeks ago they did an HIV screening and so he was returning to get blood work on the six people who tested positive. I have never been to a prison in the U.S so I knew that being that my first experience would be an African one would be interesting. The prison has a capacity for 150 prisoners, however, it houses over 450. I entered and felt as all eyes were on me. I would have felt uncomfortable in a prison in the U.S but here not only was I was a young female, I was white. I was completely safe, Dr. Bledsoe wouldn't have taken me there I had not been so I don't want to be over dramatic about the whole situation but it was a little unnerving. It was also unnerving as I took blood samples from some of the prisoners. Drawing blood isn't a big deal but it seems a lot more like a big deal when you know that person is HIV +. I couldn't help but think though about the prisoners in that place. Dr. Bledsoe explained that they are given one meal a day and are only allowed the clothes they were wearing when they came into the place. I couldn't help but think that when Jesus talked about the "least of these" he was referring to these types of people. The forgotten, abandoned, the sick and dying. All of the sudden the gospel came alive to me.. how could it not when you see the depravity that Jesus was talking about and realize that he calls us to serve these people, to love these people. My thoughts about yesterday carried on into today. Another morning at the clinic. Most of them children with Malaria and then a fifteen year old girl. She was quiet and as I assisted the doctor with her physical examination also noted that she was incredibly anemic. Normally the inside of your eyelids should be beefy red, hers were as white as a sheet of paper. Her palms and soles of her feet were also extremely white, a sign of anemia. She didn't say much, she seemed very shy and quiet and considering her hematocrit was 12% (normal for a female should be around 36%) she probably didn't feel too great either. I found out that she had delivered a baby two weeks ago. So here was this extremely anemic young girl.. and to top off her day she discovered today that she is HIV +. Considering that she just found out, her baby more than likely is also positive. Her boyfriend and father of the child, a thirty year old man. So.. what do you do with all that information.. what do you say to a child that has a child that she has HIV? For once I was sort of glad I didn't speak the language so that I didn't have to try and scramble for the right words. She is seven years younger than me and yet she seemed so old sitting on that table. I wondered if I would ever have the strength to see this day in and day out. I left the clinic this morning feeling very overwhelmed, she wasn't the only person who found out their status today or the only person that is dying because they don't have enough money to pay the hospital or because their traditional medicine failed them. It was a lot to ponder as I walked home. It was during that walk that I had the realization that no matter what degree I had or how many languages I spoke, I can not save the world. I cannot free the oppressed, or redeem the undredeemable, or even heal the sick. This may seem like something I should have known for a long time and I have.. but it became very real today. The brokenness of this land is very evident in every direction you look. But the brokenness is not just here. It is in America too in maybe some not so obvious ways. The brokenness is worldwide. The brokenness is a result of our sin that we committed. It is not God who has condemned us but we who have condemned ourselves. I realized today that I am not capable of doing the things that need to be done in this world to restore it. Only he can restore and heal. Only he can redeem. I must hope and pray that his redeeming love that pursues me and that he lavishes upon me does the same for these people. That they would feel it and turn from their ways and that we would feel it and desire to share it more than we do. I realized the only thing I can do is to love people, to serve people as Christ commanded us to. To point others in his direction where they can find true restoration. Pray for this broken land.. pray for healing and redemption in our own land and thank God for his mercy and his endless, tireless love and grace on us all.
ps. the picture is of the sunset this evening. A beautiful reminder of God's love and faithfulness. He is here.. he has not abandoned even though it is sometimes hard to see his hand.

Je suis en joie!! (I am happy in French) :)

So, as you can tell the two pics. are of babies that I have seen in the clinic. I am ridiculous here, and I can't seem to stop!! The children here are so beautiful!!! I was already warned by my parents to not bring a baby home but it is so hard not to!!! I spent the morning in the clinic again seeing patients with the doctors. They have been teaching me a lot and it has been fun to learn things that I would not have the opportunity to learn in nursing school in the states. This afternoon we had our second French lesson. I would like to say that I am making huge improvements in the language department but that would not be the entire truth. I am sort of cheating the system. Most of the time I speak Portuguese with a French accent and get lucky because a lot of words are similar, lol. I can understand a lot more than I ever thought I would, but it is more difficult to speak. Anyway, that is about all for the day. I would like to say that I have something really insightful to say about my time here thus far. That I have received a sign from the Lord and thus know his meaning and purpose for me during my time here and after. But that isn't true. I have been content and pretty at peace but to say I really understand my purpose for being here right now other than to learn would be false. I do however appreciate so much about this country, and what I have concluded to be similar across the continent. The simplicity... It is so easy here.. Walking is not a big deal, I take cold showers everyday (its so hot most of the time I don't even notice), the humidity is so high that my hair resembles a Latin version of Shirley Temple , meaning I don't ever have to fix it. Make-up would be a waste, and skirts are an obligation because of modesty issues here therefore wardrobe choices are easy. All this to say that today as I was walking down the dirt, dusty road from the clinic back to the house. It was hot and I was sweaty and the air smelled of body odor and trash, I felt more beautiful and more alive than I have ever felt all gussied up in the States. I feel like myself here, I feel like there are no social confinements to define me, no fashion rules or expectations that I need to make sure I am following. I am just me and it is so refreshing. So if nothing else I am enjoying being me, here, and listening for what God wants to teach me. Thank you all for your prayers..
I miss and love you all!!
me
ps. the baby on the left is not a typical looking African baby. She was so fat, hence the pic. of her!!
When we asked her mother how old she was we were expecting hear something over 8 months. Instead.. four!!! We are pretty sure there were some miscalculations! :)

Rain, rain, rain....

It is about 5:30pm here. I have been on the computer for the last couple of hours. I spent the morning in the clinic. It was so busy. Most of the patients we saw were suffering from Malaria, the most common disease seen in the clinic especially during this time of year (rainy season). And rain is all it has done this afternoon. After the clinic we had our last CHE training and by the end of it I was very tired. I decided, however to take advantage of the quiet house and the rain outside to catch up on some internet work. So I am happy to inform you all that I have uploaded almost a hundred photos of my time here. I have close to two hundred but I picked the ones that can be seen with little explanation. Most them are just shots of the people and different parts of the city and clinc so you all can get a feel of what it looks like here. The album can be found at the following website, http://public.fotki.com/Namelok/. The other two albums I made a while ago so feel free to look at those as well. Not much more is going on here right now. For all of you that have been praying that I would sleep , the Lord answered!!! I slept all last night without any problems and without the help of any drugs!!! yeah!! I put off taking a nap this afternoon in hopes that the same would happen tonight. Anyway, just wanted to let you all know about the pics. I miss and love you all!!
me

sorry..

as you might have guessed.. uploading the video failed!!! sorry!!! i will post some pics. of the church later when I have time. We are headed out the door for dinner right now!
love,
me

Catching the vision...

So.. I must admit that for the past couple of days I have allowed discouragement to get the best of me. It is always hard for me to adjust to a new place.. I am very impatient. So when I arrive somewhere I want to know everything already. I don't want to have to go through the learning process. Crazy I know! So this past week was a lot of just getting accostumed to the routine around here and not doing much and the not doing sort of drove me crazy at times. How often and easily I make things all about me and what I want instead of allowing God to do his work through me in his time. I have also had the unfortunate burden of not being able to sleep at night. My first couple of nights here I took Tylenol PM to help me and then the nights that I have tried to sleep without it I haven't been able to. The nurse in me doesn't want to keep taking it because it would not be in the best interest of my liver. So last night I didn't take any and didn't sleep. Thankfuly because of technology I was able to talk to some family and good friends on the internet for a while which were really enjoyable and encouraging!! :) So after a cat nap I woke up for another day here in Abengorou. Being that it is Sunday we were headed to church. So.. this is when the story begins to change. Let me tell you.. if you are ever feeling in the dumps, gloomy or just down right blue, find yourself an African church. The way they worship God, can change your mood instantly. The dancing, clapping, beating of the drums and singing is so beautiful, so unique to their culture. I couldn't help but be reminded of how much I have to be singing about. These people have so little and yet they worship so much and in such a BIG way. It really changed my attitude. So.. the video is a little present to you all to be able to experience in a small way what I experienced this morning. A beautiful reminder that our God rules over all the world and that he is good! It was a small glimpse of what it will sound like when before the throne there are people from every nation, tribe and tongue! After the service we went back home and had lunch and then had a small break before our first Community Health Evangelism training (CHE). I was first exposed to CHE in Tanzania two years ago. But today for some reason it took on a whole new meaning to me. It is a movement that aims at not only bringing Christ into lost communities but transforming them for his glory. They have seen churches who use this program go from 50-500 and the percentage of diseases cut down by 80%. It really is a new movement in missions and the thing is it can use anyone. It is not just for the traditional Bible trained missionaries, it is for business professionals, health care providers, teachers, anyone. It is really exciting stuff!! Anyway, it really helped me catch a vision for my time here. I am hoping to learn more about how CHE works in this community and how it would look to start it in another community somewhere else. If you want to know more about it check out the website http://www.lifewind.org/. It is kind of complicated so my explanation doesn't really do it justice. Anyway, I am doing much better now that the Lord has humbly reminded me that he is in charge of my future and that he will show me his will for my life in his time. Thank you all for your prayers. I can't wait to share with you all in person. Please add to the prayer list that I start sleeping at night, that would probably be really helpful. I will spend this whole week in the clinic as well as having some more CHE training and French lessons. It should be a busy week. I love and miss you all.. sorry this one was so long and enjoy the video!!!

Quinine shots, sugar cookies and lots of laughs...

Bonjour friends and family!! I hope that the title of this particular blog has caught your attention. It sums up my day pretty nicely. I woke up today and went to the clinic. Today was my first day to actually be an active participant in the clinical activities, so my assignment was the pharmacy. My job was to fill prescriptions and to give shots when prescribed as treatment. So that is what I did. I filled plastic bags with a variety of different meds. Much of them were for treating malaria. All the shots that I gave were for malaria. Quinine, the main drug used, act as a fever reducer, since malaria causes such high fevers. So I gave the shots to some very cute, sad, children. I could say that it was fun, but that would not be the right thing to say. I do not enjoy giving shots, however, I do love the medical field and being able to do exercise that in some form was very satisfying. I also was able to see Dr. Bledsoe work on a man's hand. He had got it caught in some sort of machinery and it had cut off two of his fingers. He went to the hospital and had it stitched up but the stitches and stitching were not done very well and it was infected. The infection had actually even killed some of the skin which is not good news. It was very interesting. I felt bad for the poor guy though he was in a lot of pain. After the eventful morning at the clinic we walked back to the house, (by the way walking here is as common as eating, and somehow because I am here I don't mind it at all, wish it was this easy to exercise in the states!) had a delicious lunch and then started on the next project. As you all know tomorrow is the fourth of July and the missionaries here always get together and do something special. The tradition includes games and lots of American food. So this afternoon we had to make that food for tomorrow since tomorrow morning we will be busy in the clinic. So me and a couple of the other interns here made sugar cookies. They were from scratch of course, the only option here, and they turned out great!! It was a lot of fun to just hang out and get to know them better. Tonight we had a lecture with Dr. Bledsoe. We will meet like twice a week for him to lecture on different tropical diseases. Tonight he talked about the anti-retroviral drugs given to HIV/AIDS patients. Very complicated, interesting stuff! Anyway, it has been a busy day, wrapped up by playing a board game with the missionaries and laughing a lot because we are all really tired. Please keep Bernie and Kellie Bledsoe in your prayers. They are the missionaries I am working with and they do so much here. They give so much and it really is exhausting just to watch them. I have tried to help and be a help as much as I can. Their son Isaac is from here and he is adorable and so much fun to play with. Anyway, I am rambling at this point... I need to go to bed. Enjoy the pics. a sample smattering from the day. Happy Early fourth of July!!! Love and miss you all!!! Me

Getting oriented...

Hello again..
I didn't think that I would write anything about the day, but I have a feeling that the rest of the week is going to be really busy... So here it is... Today I woke up after a Tylenol PM induced sleep since at midnight I still was not tired most likely due to jetlag. I had breakfast with everyone and then Kellie (wife of the missionary doctor) took Casey and I to the market and around the town just for us to get a feel for it and see where everything is located. We didn't buy anything we just walked around and of course I took some pictures. Man.. so many colors in the market.. a photographer's (in my case amateur photographer) heaven!! It reminded me a lot of East Africa and made me feel like I was truly in the heart of the culture. In the afternoon Casey and I since we are the newest interns had orientation in which we received our schedule for the next three weeks and also discussed the ministries that the Bledsoes are involved in right now. It was exciting to hear what God is doing here and also exciting to find out that every day I am in the clinic!!! I am looking forward to learning a lot. Please pray for me as I have been told by Dr. Bledsoe that the things they see are not always easy and pleasant. I want to be a blessing to those around me, me crying for their situations will not help them, so pray that I will keep my emotions in check. Also pray for the patients at this clinic, most of which are HIV positive. Pray that God will truly work in their hearts and that they would find true healing in Him. After orientation Kellie, Casey and I talked about their experience here in Abengorou. The struggles, the victories, everything! Kellie was very candid with us. This is not an easy life. It is hard, very hard. My heart and mind know these things, I grew up on the mission field and I know it is not easy. So I asked here, why do you stay? The answer is a simple one. They have been called to this place at this time, so they remain even through the trials. How I pray for faith and courage like that. I know I am called but the fears are overwhelming sometimes because I know what I will be getting myself into. Please pray for me as the Lord speaks to me during my time here. As I continue to learn what it means to follow him no matter what the cost. It is only through and by him that people will see his love and grace in my life. Right now it is raining, a nice break from the humidity and sets the tone for a contemplative mood. I will write more another day... Tomorrow will be my first day in the clinic.
I love you all!!
Peace!

Safe and sound and extra sweaty..

Hello to friends and family!!!
I am here in Abengorou, Ivory Coast. I arrived yesterday evening in Abidjan and we spent the night there and then spent the morning and early afternoon running errands in the city before we headed north to Abengorou which is where I am now. I arrived without any problems and with all my luggage, praise the Lord. The trip was long and somewhat lonely but overall not too bad. My airport switch in Paris was not that big of a deal and besides waiting in a huge line to check in my luggage, everything was fine. Much to my dissapointment I was not able to spot the Eiffel tower either. Anyway, I arrived in Abidjan and have never been so happy to see a white man's face as I was when I saw Dr. Bledsoe waiting for me. We had dinner and then went to their guest house in Abidjan and spent the night. This morning (I woke up at four am and couldnt go back to sleep) we woke up and went into town. Dr. Bledsoe had to go to the bank and run some other errands. Casey (another intern who arrived the same time as I did) and I waited in the car for him most of the day. It was there that Casey and I quickly learned that Ivory Coast is a very, very, very humid place. The sweating started early this morning and is finally subsiding now that I am sitting under a fan and have had a cold shower. Anyway, there is much more that I could say about my first day in the Ivory Coast but I will spare all the details for more face to face conversations. I just wanted to let everyone know that I have arrived safely. I am staying with a missionary lady who is not much older than I am and she has four other girl interns with her now. So needless to say I will not have to worry about being lonely. Tomorrow should be a good day. I will keep you all posted on my time here and the new things I discover everyday.
Peace!!!!

I should be sleeping...

It is 12:40am. I should be asleep right now, but the anxiousness in my heart keeps me awake. Tomorrow I am leaving for the Ivory Coast. The purpose of this blog is for friends and family to keep up to date with what is going on with me during my time there. But tonight I felt the need to voice my thoughts out into the blogging world. I have a hundred different emotions surging through me right now. I am scared but excited, anxious but at peace and nervous but confident. I am a walking contradiction right now it seems. I am scared about being lonely, about traveling by myself to a place that is completely unfamiliar. I am scared that what I witness there will be too much that I wont have the words to know what to say or the emotions to know how to express. I am scared about being uncomfortable but at the same time excited about being uncomfortable, for it is in our discomfort, I believe, that we learn the greatest lessons. All of these feelings I realize could be me just being over dramatic. It wouldnt be the first time. But I cant help but think that this trip will be a life changing one. Maybe it wont, maybe it will. I dont know. I do know that I am so grateful that I have the opportunity to go. I have no idea what I will end up doing or seeing, or who I will meet. I do know that for whatever reason, God in all his sovereignty has allowed me to go there at this time. His purposes are not clear. But I am going... I guess for now that is enough for me to know, to understand. That he has a purpose I do know for sure. I pray only that I will be his vessel in whatever way he chooses to use me. Tomorrow.. I will embark fears and hopes all tangled up inside me with the prayer that when I return I will not be the same but changed... Changed, I pray, into more of the image of the Jesus Christ. Because, in my heart of hearts, that is what I truly desire.